I wish I hadn't chopped the hell out of my legs because I really can't even sit down now. I know, I promised Jessica I wouldn't do it, but she's gone to Florida for a week and has no internet, so she won't find out for a while. I carved "annoying bitch" into my leg, that's what Adam called me. I took quite a few pictures of the blood and cuts too. I am hoping to figure out how to use Dreamweaver so I can make a layout with the pictures I took. It would be wonderful to really express myself through my layout. I mean, oranges are great [[as is orange juice]] but I'm not "fruity" I'm depressed, down, shitty.

I like Adam.

I made Ben Helinski his shirt today with the Mest logo on it. He's been wanting me to do that forever, so I made it his Valentine's day present.

I hate Valentine's day. It's such a stupid holiday. I never get anything. I don't have a Valentine. I'm a loser. Adam doesn't want to be my valentine. No one does. Pfft, stupid holiday...

********************************

Nic0Pic0: will you be my valentine?

one leged rhino: sure?

Nic0Pic0: well, you sound skeptical. if you don't want to be you don't have to.

one leged rhino: ok then

one leged rhino: ill be my own valentine

Nic0Pic0: pfft, fine.

one leged rhino: :-P

Nic0Pic0: I didn't want you to be my valentine anyway.

one leged rhino: lol, yea u do

one leged rhino: u asked

Nic0Pic0: �cries�

Nic0Pic0: :-[ leave me alone

one leged rhino: u started it

Nic0Pic0: no, you did.

one leged rhino: frig u i did

Nic0Pic0: :'(

one leged rhino: .....

Nic0Pic0: I just wanted you to be my valentine! you don't have to get all huffy and insult me...:-(

one leged rhino: -*kisses ure forhead*-

********************************

For Valentine's I went to Portland and bought Ashley a Good Charlotte poster. That's what she really wanted because of her crush on Billy. I know, I am the coolest sister ever. [[she bought me a beanie baby]]

I did nothing for my mom. I hate her. She can burn in hell for all I care.

I gave Ben a shirt and some chocolates, regardless of his hoity toity girlfriend that I could never compare to.

I really did nothing else. Ashley and Ben, they're it for me this Valentines.

I didn't get a call from my dad! What a fucking prick. He can't even call to wish me a happy Valentine's day. Should I call him? nah, he can fucking shoot himself AGAIN for all I care. Prick.

I'm going to write a letter to Josh! Goodness I miss him. SO MUCH! Maybe he'll be my Valentine. Lol, yeah... right.

<��||��>

� PAST MEMORIES
RIP Bryan - Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003
I'm being stalked again! - Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
I'm back. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Gail, the bitch. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Rahhhhh!!!!!!!!! - Sunday, Aug. 17, 2003