I want friends. I want a life. I want something more than what I have. I hate myself. I hate the world. I miss Josh, I miss him so much. I miss playing croquet, having him stop by on his lunch break and then ending up late when he goes back. I miss watching cheezy teen movies with him, and watching movies that mean something to us. I miss having someone to talk to online, having something to look forward to. I miss late night trips to the Bonanza parking lot, demolishing Joey's skateboard and then going to Barnes and Noble to look at mags. I miss trips to walmart with Josh Kara and Tony. I miss hanging out with Josh's relatives and washing Capone when he rolls in something dead. I miss downloading Josh's music and going to his house to watch music videos. I miss being on the phone with him and having him yell at me because I'm not talking, and then singing Three Little Birds and quizzing me on my Bob Marley knowledge. I miss listening to his many stories and telling me that I'm perfect the way I am. I miss he and Tom coming over to fill my playlist with his downloads and playing Monopoly - leaving my room a mess before he leaves. I miss stories of the river man, I miss putting groceries away. I miss disagreeing with him, but not complaining because I could listen to his voice. I miss being online until 4 in the morning just chatting with him about life and religion and poverty. I miss reading his stories and poems, and I miss him reading mine. He was my best friend and I will never forget everything he taught me and did for me. All in one summer, he was my love. I miss having a friend as wonderful as he was to me. I miss Josh.

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� PAST MEMORIES
RIP Bryan - Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003
I'm being stalked again! - Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
I'm back. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Gail, the bitch. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Rahhhhh!!!!!!!!! - Sunday, Aug. 17, 2003