Yes. I'm incredibly depressed again. The other night I was talking to Nigel and I got the faintest impression that I might once again have a chance. Then, the next day I called him and he invited me to the movies. Little did I know the whole crew was going as well. My chance to "make a move" on Nigel was ruined and I ended up making a move on Jimmy Dipane.
My crushes: Jimmie Pierce, Jimmy Dipane, Nigel Stevens, Josh Marsella, Adam Gilley, Ben Helinski.
My chances with any of them: 0
My friends: None currently
People I'm hanging out with on New Years: Myself, my sister.
This I find very sad. I want to do something today but everyone has plans with everyone except me. My "friends" are all hanging out together and I'm not invited, I'm never invited unless I invite myself, or I'm lucky and call Nigel on his birthday. I took a shower today and realized that I have no one to talk to about anything. I fell on hands and knees and began to cry.. I had no clue what else to do. I just started thinking about all the people who I supposedly mean something to. I'm still crying.. thinking.. hurting. Nothing ever helps. Sure people say, we're friends, I don't want you to switch schools, don't hurt yourself, I will miss you, but no one ever means it. No one really cares. No one ever calls. No one ever invites me. I'm alone, completely fucking alone. And this is when people realize what the hell is happening to me, how I'm falling into a deep and unhealthy depression and then they feel bad. Oh, it's ok Nicole, why don't we hang out? why don't you come over? FUCK YOU ALL! No one means it. NO ONE. Don't feel bad for me, because I don't need your fucking simpathy. I just don't fucking need it.

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� PAST MEMORIES
RIP Bryan - Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003
I'm being stalked again! - Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
I'm back. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Gail, the bitch. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Rahhhhh!!!!!!!!! - Sunday, Aug. 17, 2003