Here I go, thinking again.

I need people. I need friends. I have friends, they're there to help me when I need it, but I don't tell anyone when I'm down, when I'm depressed, when I feel lonely. All I have to do is ask for help when I need it, and that's what I don't do. I take my friends for granted. And I'm sorry to all of you. I don't feel so awful today, so I'm not going to write about how my life sucks, because it doesn't. Everyone who really depressed me are out of my life. Rod is in jail and I don't talk to my father. That's it. I have to say that living here with Rod's posessions still lingering around, that upsets me, depresses me, hurts me. The fact that he's not gone from my life is what makes me depressed. I just want to finish school, and get away from Maine. When I graduate Rod will be coming back, I don't want him to come back. That's what is surrounding my entire hatred for this state. Him. He's the reason I get angry at my mother, which puts me in a bad mood and makes me cry, eventually leading to my taking it out on friends. I need to get away from him, and start looking at the positive things in my life. If I was only allowed to hate one thing in this world, it would be my stepfather. That's my only real hate, and everything else I "hate" is somehow hooked to him. I don't like to hate, but there's no way to get rid of it, and there's no way I could ever feel anything more or less for him.

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� PAST MEMORIES
RIP Bryan - Wednesday, Aug. 20, 2003
I'm being stalked again! - Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003
I'm back. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Gail, the bitch. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2003
Rahhhhh!!!!!!!!! - Sunday, Aug. 17, 2003