I did something bad. And I regret it. I knew right from the start I shouldn't have done it. And it wasn't one of those- if doing it is wrong I don't want to be right- things. I didn't even enjoy doing it. It was wrong, and I regret it, and I can't take it back, and I feel awful, and I'm going to hurt someone, and possibly get hurt myself. I wish I could take it back, or be able to do it over, I wish that she had stayed, and that would have made a difference, but she didn't, and I messed up, big time. I feel awful, and I don't know what to do. I went too far, I don't like him that way. Like when Novalee slept with Forney and then told him that she didn't love him, except, not so intense, and I'm not hiding anything from myself. I don't like him like that and I screwed up. I made a mistake, I fcked up. mmmmmm

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