Hey man,

I messed up! I talked to Lee at the game.. I was high and didn't know better, Eric was right there so really I was talking to him but I know that Lee will say something to Eric, and Eric, MY BEST FRIEND OF 9 YEARS, will altogether stop talking to me. I hate peer pressure, and I hate people who can't mind their own goddamn business. I'm really really really scared and hating myself, but I am also the happiest person in the world! On the good side, I love my life right now.. Josh.. :-) school.. :-) but then I'm late :- and I'm so scared that I messed up really big, REALLY big...

For once in my life I finally have friends that I really like and that aren't assholes to me, why did it take this long to find them? because I'm stupid. But yeah, I find myself more and more unable to be buddy buddy with females, no, i'm not a slut, I just think they talk too much and tend to get annoying, yes I know I'm the same way but I appreciate my guy friends more than my girl friends. Jessica is my best friend but I have a feeling she'll do the same to me as every other close girlfriend I've ever had has done, leave me after becoming really close. Examples: Melanie (1st&2nd) Monica (3rd) Nicole (4th&5th) Marissa (3rd-7th) Morgan (3rd-6th) Jessica (5th-8th) Jacinta (6th-9th) Lindsey (10th-11th) and Now Jessica is here, for how long? who knows! I hope I don't lose her with this whole Josh thing but I really do like him A LOT and I've never had anything as good as this so I tend to keep to him and forget about her, I really don't mean to and it makes me feel awful but it's just me and I can't help it. Well, I'm out for now... tata.

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